The older I get the more I realize that there is so very little I know and I have a LOT yet to learn about life and people. I think sometimes I feel uneasy with my inadequacies or feel less than perfect. Why is this? Why do we (more so in this present culture) feel the need to show this perfect image (especially online)? Why can we not be comfortable in the fact that we are all broken people and love others into a wholeness, that is only find in Christ?
I know I am going to most likely hurt anyone close to me at some point, and it is in that experience in the mending where actually the relationship can become stronger. Yes, that mending process can be somewhat painful and it may seem it would be better to just move on. I am so thankful that I have a God that didn’t just move on when He looked at me and said, “She is too broken beyond repair.” Our lives are going to have lots of twists and turns, but in the end the hope is that our paths always lead back to Christ.
I can think about my longest-standing friendship that I am still close to over the past 20 years and recall times of seeing each other all the time and times where we may need see each other for 6 months to a year, because we live in different states now. I know that I know that she always is there for me no matter the distance, time, or circumstance in my life, she is my best friend for life. I have also learned from some of my longstanding friendships and watching my parent’s marriage that we cannot let the seeds of hurt, bitterness, and resentment take root in us. Resentment is one the surest ways to kill a marriage. When we resent someone, we let anger and bitterness take control over how we feel not just toward them but potentially future friendships or relationships. We should ALWAYS be quick to forgive, that doesn’t mean we forget. When we forgive that takes the poison out of the unforgiveness taking root in our souls and minds. This is also true for learning to forgive ourselves.
The constant overachiever that I am sometimes I put such a high expectation for myself that when I fail, I have a hard time forgiving myself for my supposed stupidity in being human of all things. I am learning to constantly grow in my measure of grace for myself and for others. I know what I focus on both good and bad will only magnify in my mind, so focus on the good and reject the negative thinking, because it will not just eat your mind, but eventually your body and soul with its toxin.